Still in the depths of winter and to be honest I am not really enjoying it, as I have mentioned probably a million times already, I am not one for the cold weather.
So this morning, I was so grateful to have no plans and the sun was out shining down on my front veranda.
As soon as I woke, I made a coffee grabbed a cushion and the book I am currently reading and sat out there soaking up that beautiful warmth.
I am currently reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. It’s about creative living beyond fear.
It is an easy read and I love that.
In recent years, I have had a lot of fears pop up in my life, so I am working at releasing them and this book is working it’s ‘magick’ at the moment. It’s not a self help book, it is just little stories about her experiences with her creative processes.
For so long, I have been planning to take little road trips. To find and stay at quiet little beaches, and when the weather is warmer I want to go but, I have had fears that have started to come up around that.
What if my car breaks down and I get stuck somewhere
What if I get lost
What if I get kidnapped because I am on my own (I realise how ridiculous that sounds)
And most of all
What if it isn’t as amazing as I visualise it will be.....
Silly I know, but these are the fears that are popping up within my mind.
They are a small parts of a larger fear, my son Takoda is turning 18 in a couple of months and I am realising that, although he will always be my little boy, he isn’t my little boy anymore and is forging his own way in this world.
But back to dealing with the fears.
They have been running around on my head for a while
Today, while Takoda and I were driving back from my accountant, I mentioned to him what was going through my mind. My fears that were springing up.
You know what he said to me.
"I know you are my mum and I love you, but omg stop it."
"You create the experience you want, so create an amazing experience"
I was gobsmacked.
So much wisdom.
And it is exactly what I have said to him a million times.
He was right.
If my car breaks down I am insured, I have roadside assistance and my brother is a mechanic.
I won't get lost, I have google maps and an actual map in my car. (yes they still exist)
I am not going to get kidnapped, I will stay in safe places
And most of all
It will be as amazing as I have visualised it will be..... Because I will make it that way.
So once we returned home, I cleared my space and lit my smudge stick.
I cleansed myself and my space
At the end of the waning moon, tomorrow being dark moon I release these fears.
Takoda is coming with me on my first couple of road trips just to ensure I don’t get kidnapped.